We all have expectations. Planning is part of survival. We plan out so much of life. There is the matter of where food and shelter and our basic needs will be met, and there are other things like social events and education and our responsibilities. Some days, I wrestle with my expectations of what I “should” be accomplishing, as plans are ever changing. It is nice to know what to expect. It gives us a sense of security, however false it may be, and helps us let our guard down.
My family is in another season of “Expecting.” We recently found out that I am pregnant and the emotional roller coaster begins again. If you aren’t familiar with our history, more babies have begun in my womb than have come home in my arms. I have an amazing little boy and a beautiful little girl who challenge me and inspire me daily… and now another life has begun in me.
The children already know. We told them, the same night that we found out. They know that many babies don’t survive “the growing” and they have been praying over my body and the baby, each day. Prayers like, “Dear God, Please make momma feel comfortable, while she grows a baby, and keep our baby safe. We really want it to live with us!”
When you have dealt with the roller coaster of emotions that comes with celebrating a pregnancy and then grieving a loss, it is not uncommon to feel hesitant to celebrate or become attached. Likewise, when you finally feel like you have your world with two children “under control”, the potential of changing the balance can be daunting. In any event, there is “Expectation.”
I expect that my children will have to play quietly while I take power naps as this new life begins in me, and I am exhausted by it.
I expect that we will be focusing more energy on learning how to help with chores around the house and making our daily routines run more smoothly.
I expect that we will all get attached to this new life – and the potential that it represents for us.
I expect that I will start nesting and my house is going to be slightly rearranged as the weeks go by.
I expect that I will experience many unexpected things. Such is life.
Meanwhile, I’m praying for the health of this little one and for safety and security and peace over our household as we try to manage our expectations. I’m hoping that I’ll get to write a blog post soon, about my favorite baby “things” and what I plan to re-use and what I want to never see again. But… I’m not going to promise anything.
Have a blessed day!