We all have expectations. Planning is part of survival. We plan out so much of life. There is the matter of where food and shelter and our basic needs will be met, and there are other things like social events and education and our responsibilities. Some days, I wrestle with my expectations of what I […]
A long time ago… (2007) I was pregnant and working hard to decide on baby names. If you don’t know our story, I didn’t have a successful pregnancy until 2010 and there was a long period of emotional ups and downs in that time. Anyway, I’ve been looking through old posts, trying to reformat some, […]
Talk about ready to have this little man. This is what I looked like before he finally arrived! He would kick around my heart and I would feel like my whole body was beating. So strange. I was so anxious for him to come. He even stayed in longer than expected. That was a surprise […]
Every person is different, and every pregnancy different. For me, though I’ve been pregnant before, it was during a stage in my life where I was struggling with Chrohns, unknowingly and because I miscarried, a “normal” pregnancy would presumably be a little different. I find myself clinging to the very little information that I am familiar […]
I just watched a commercial that I love every time. It is one by the Foundation for a better life. A little boy is missing in a theatre and the curtains open and he is playing a simple tune on the piano on stage. The star pianist of the evening walks out and tells him […]
Last night I wasn’t feeling well at all. This morning there were signs of trouble, regarding baby and crohns. James took me to the emergency room. I was sure I was miscarrying. After a few hours, lots of labs, and three ultrasounds, we had some information. I was having, as we thought, a major Crohns […]
It is amazing how in one instant everything can feel like it changed. Just days ago I was planning how I would manage to dress properly for canoing when my wet suit doesn’t fit any longer. I had written a list of projects we needed to accomplish to prepare for biking, canoing, camping and hiking […]
We all have struggles. I have struggled my whole life with many things. I have never been able to grasp that not all people can be helped because not all people want to be helped. I have struggled with the fear that anyone I upset will beat me up. I have struggled with the mental […]
Things haven’t been particularly easy this past year. Between two miscarriages and new jobs for both of us, James’ college education and our combined health problems, it’s been a bit overwhelming. We’re still living with family, and while it has its perks, it’d be super to have some space of our own. And that is […]
Typically, when a crisis strikes, I am able to stay calm, help to find a solution, ensure that everyone is ok and help everyone make it through, make sure that the mess following is straightened out, and then I go home. Our recent loss was similar. After the initial shock and disbelief, I was angry […]